Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps the singing bird will come.

Chinese proverb

Good morning magical folk.

I’ve missed a number of the biblomancy words this month. So I decided to pick one of the one’s missed and this is “feel.”

The summer time always seems to become very busy, as I try to keep up with eveything. Which is understandable given the nature of our work. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by it all and tired out. Everything seems to have crept up on me while I wasn’t looking this year. As a result I feel I’m playing catch up with everything, particularly outside. This has a knock on effect to everything else. Some things have really fallen by the wayside. Trying to be consistant with the words and posts, particularly on IG is a struggle at the moment. If I’m honest I also find my enthusiasm isn’t there. If it’s a choice between watering plants which are wilting for lack of rain or putting together a post on IG. The plants and those things which require immediate attention will always be a priority. Plus other work stuff which needs attention. This doesn’t mean I don’t think about those of you I’ve come to know, I do, often. Sometimes I’d just rather have a one to one conversation, not for the whole world to read. I also feel if I haven’t got anything relevant, important or interesting to share there’s no point posting. That posts need to be interesting to make you come back. But I know I’m setting myself up to fail with this way of thinking. Sharing stuff which isn’t important to me or is irrelevant becomes meaningless to anyone and is counter productive. This is not what I want to create. So the days have ticked by and I find it’s been two weeks since I last posted anything, which is now where I’m at.

I feel a little disconnected from everything at the moment. The time to devote to building a practice I think I want or observing certain things is very limited at this bustling time of year. Autumn and Winter are definitely better for this with their slower, measured pace. But I find it so incredibly frustraiting, is this because I’m trying to go against the flow of things? Am I naturally in a place of letting those things be at the moment. It never occured to me that it’s the start of the summer solstice today. So I’m wondering are all the festivals necessary, do I need to observe them all. After all a lot of them are a modern construct. If they’re not then which ones are. It’s another thing to ponder and to not feel guilty about. To adapt things to fit into life which are managable. It’s also about what resonates with the direction I’m going in. So in reality these small realisations build a practice. A bit like my realisation that after taking the dog for a final walk at 9.30pm that’s it, I’m done. I cannot do rituals or things that go on into the night. No-one will tell me other wise, I’m too tired. My energy levels never feel good at the best of times. Completely burning myself out is not an option.

I try to remember that the things I do each day all contribute to what I consider to be my practice. Tending plants, watering, weeding, outdoor things, walking the dog, preparing food, even work, those everyday things. I just need to stop beating myself up for not feeling like I should be doing more or trying to squeeze in even more things. Having said that I really would like to build some foundations. This is what the witchy course I started was for, along with the books I bought. But again I find time an issue or it’s my use of it. Sometimes I believe I’m my own worst enemy with this, I know. But I’m a work in progress as we all are. And sometimes I just feel to damn tired and unable to focus.

What do you do when things get busy and hurried and you feel disconnected from your practice? Do you let things resolve in their own time going with the ebb and flow or do you help things along? What things help you reconnect?

Share your thoughts, I’d love to read them.