Heaven Sends Love
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In the beginning
This tale has been months in the making, probably years in reality. To share the unfolding of the last weeks, it’s important to set the scene. To do this I need to step backwards a number of years. To a moment when something unexpected entered into my awareness.
I was using a set of oracle cards, one of which kept appearing frequently. It referred to automatic writing or what’s known as psycography. If you don’t know what this is, it’s the process of putting pen to paper and producing written words without consciously writing. Allowing the sub conscious mind, the soul, higher self, spirit, whomever, to speak through the process. Ultimately it is a type of channeling. I wasn’t familiar with this at that time and a few of you might remember me asking you about it. Apart from a few responses, overall the view was seen to be negative. Whether I wanted to hear it or not, I was told tales relating to all sorts of terrible experiences people had. It was something best avoided. Not quite the responses I’d envisioned. Being ‘green’ as some might call it, lacking confidence, better judgement or trust in Spirit for that matter. I listened to the naysayers and the fears ‘they’ held, deciding never to touch it. No matter how insistent this card was, I ignored it. Allowing myself to be influenced by the limiting, fear based beliefs of a few people.
Sometime towards the latter end of 2022 I came across a YouTube channel called Next Level Soul. If you’ve not seen this, where have you been? Just kidding but you must check it out, it’s full of many interesting subjects and people. This channel plus others I came across in my wanderings, expanded my understanding of many, many things. Opening my eyes to a host of different people, their gifts, different aspects of Spirituality and perspectives. It’s here I came across channeling and later down the line through another channel, psychography. It appeared to be nothing like what I’d been told. These people actively involved in channeling or psycography were and are inspiring. I was intrigued by how seemingly ordinary and ‘happy’ people were receiving messages and from whom. Whilst all their connections were different they gave similar messages. Ones of hope, guidance, compassion, kindness, lack of judgement and the unconditional love for humanity and the human journey. They were not rooted in a place of vulnerability. Not based in fear. I felt compelled to find out more so kept watching. Going to websites and YouTube channels of those people who I felt spoke to my heart.
Even so, I couldn’t find the answers I sought. It seemed there wasn’t much to be found regarding how these folks were channelling or connecting. It just miraculously happened as if they were the chosen few.
Or so I thought.
Moving forwards
Sometime midpoint 2023, I decided to take steps to actively develop my intuition. I really wanted to feel a stronger, deeper connection to everything. I consciously made the choice to let go of fear based thinking and start living life from the heart space. This isn’t easy, it takes practice and checking in with yourself on a daily basis. Challenging limiting patterns, behaviours and thoughts such as self doubt. Becoming more aware of the inner self and developing the heart chakra. Learning to recognise self limiting beliefs which stop expansion. It’s also about learning to not pass judgement on whatever experience arises. Doing so just kills the magical moment. I needed to get out of my own way, learn to trust my inner compass and awakening connections. It’s possibly the hardest things to learn to do, as it all has to come from a place of self love, trust and acceptance. All are so hard when we live in a world which teaches us to be critical of ourselves. So much baggage needs to be let go of and it can be a messy business. I think we all seek the answers from others rather than seeking it from within ourselves. Sometimes because we just don’t know where to start. Mostly because we’re taught to seek wisdom from external sources.
I was interested in experiencing connections, like the folks I’d be watching were having. A connection to Spirit, Spirit Guides, Soul / Star Families, Forest Beings, you name it, ALL. In whatever form it presented itself. The reality is I probably had this already, I just wasn’t aware of it. I also needed to learn how my Soul or inner self connected and made sense of this. The hardest part is not knowing what is or what isn’t any of the above but instead of focusing on that, I’ve just allowed things to unfold. Without expectation or preconceived notions, without judgement. Just letting things be and seeing what happens. The objective being to get my conscious mind to take a back seat, not butt in all the time or tell me things which just aren’t true. It’s not easy, at times exceptionally difficult. Trying to be in a state of awareness, allows me to catch myself if I start having limiting thoughts. Hopefully by doing so it allows my Soul gifts to arise, to be able to go deeper and uncover more.
It was around this time I also started to try and make a commitment to sit in stillness, what you might call meditate. Just three minutes a day, that’s all, no pressure, nothing fancy. Sometimes I achieve it, sometimes not. After setting a number of intentions, slowly things suddenly began to shift gear. All sorts started to come into my awareness seemingly out of nowhere. The internet started randomly throwing up things I wasn’t consciously searching for. Along with the things I couldn’t find before. How to…contact your Angels, Spirit Guides, channel, ET’s, UFO’s, numerology, ancient civilisations, the Clairs, chakras, healing, meditation and music, intuition, Star Seeds, do this, see that, find the other. It’s was and continues to be bonkers how this stuff just appears. I’d be thinking of something and then not long after Geoffrey would appear and mention something to do with it. I’d experience things I can’t explain. When reviewing footage filmed in the woods there’d be orbs, rods and delicate flying things I can only call beings next to me. I’ve tried debunking them but they’re not insects and they’re by far the brightest thing in the forest. I did not see these whilst in the moment but there they are in the b roll. In the last instance, off in the distance are humanoid shapes. Humanoid shapes which very obviously aren’t human. I’ve started seeing repeating numbers everywhere, which over the last few weeks have intensified. To the point I can wake in the night and see 2:22, 11:11, 12:12. 01:01 or 00.00 to name a few. It’s as if the flood gates had opened.
The Universe is a mirror. It reflects back what we’re feeling, thinking, how we’re being in the world and how we perceive it. The Law of Correspondence teaches this. As within, so without. Our outer world a reflection of our inner world. When we’re ready to receive, the Universe presents to us what we’re seeking. Be careful what you wish for springs to mind.
Things have really been shifting for a number of years for both of us but about seven months ago our outer reality really began to change.
Things became extremely chaotic and this all started with the van. Which by the way was finally fixed last month, six months after the initial problems arose. Various things began to crumble, coalescing all at the same time. It felt as if life was being whipped into a tornado with the winds of change taking with it, anything no longer needed. Whether those things were in the physical or inner world. Some of these I mentioned in the post why the silence. Painful issues arose with my ankles, feet and left hand. Not great as I’m left handed. I was unable to walk easily for quite a while. The receptionist at the doctors refusing to give me an appointment. The frustration of not being able to walk far, go to the woods and no transport to go anywhere, incredibly limiting and stifling. With hindsight the past years and recent times, seem to have been a great clearing and healing process. The latter months a period of being cocooned and prepared for a new cycle to begin.
Then in January just when things felt like they were starting to move, I came home to find a letter. A letter when read, made my heart sink. I knew what it would be about, even though it made no mention of it.
This letter was from a heir hunting company. It transpired my estranged mother had died in December. I faced more difficult choices. My immediate feelings and thoughts being ones of those past ‘whys’, hurts, guilts and memories flooding back. Taking time to reflect, I came to realise I was not the insecure, young woman I used to be. I have matured, grown and evolved beyond my past experiences. Those experiences have led me to this point. This stage of Soul growth. Whilst this woman bears the title of Mother, she ceased to be so. Not having any control over me a long, long time ago. I can now view her with compassion for the struggles she was grappling with. Struggles which must have been passed down through her family but she refused to address. She made her choices, one being to remain isolated from me, just as I made my own choices for self preservation. Those initial feelings, those thoughts, were old worn out patterns. Ones which have no place in my present, nor in my future. I don’t know her, if indeed I ever did. I’ve never felt part of the family I was born into, apart from being close to my Grandmother (Father’s Mother) and Father. Both of whom died when I was in my twenties, at which point I lost everything. For whatever reason, ancestral or generational healing, karmic bonds or past life trauma, my life experiences have all led to this point. This awakening, this Soul journey. The past cannot be changed nor should it as I’d be a completely different person. I have healed many things, let go and released karmic bonds and patterns to move forwards. I can forgive and be thankful for the lessons. I can be at peace with the past.
It seems inner transformation is not without outer transformation. Rippling out into the wider sphere of life. Bringing with it the deep realisation of who the soul and self truly are. Some might call it the death of the ego. Others perhaps, a dark night of the Soul.
January – February 2024
This brings me to the last two months when some interesting things began to occur.
I have an early morning practice I undertake whilst walking our dog. I greet the day by thanking Spirit for it. Thanking my Soul Family, Spirit Family, Star Family and the Xanue for their presence in whatever form that takes. It’s a practice of gratitude and acknowledgement and unconditional love. I’ve done this for at least a year perhaps more, I can’t quite remember. At the end of January I was struggling with how I could bring all the parts of my life together as a whole. All the things I was interested in bringing into the light and developing but which felt so disparate. I couldn’t see how to make things work?
I began to get answers.
That morning I saw in my minds eye a multi-faceted crystal. What you see in the image below. Words started to flow in my mind as if in answer which I spoke out loud. At one point I asked for clarity and another image appeared of the crystal with an added element and a further explanation. It was at this point I thought, “I need to write this down.” When I got home which I wasn’t far from, that’s what I did. So was born the psycography notebook. Over the course of three mornings this message expanded. It made a lot of sense. Essentially using the metaphor of a faceted crystal to represent all the parts of myself. Those facets being the parts. The crystal as a whole representing myself. It wasn’t so much about what to do but more about viewing things from a different perspective. There’s more to it than this but the message was thought provoking. Bringing insight, clarity and a different way of viewing the situation. It didn’t matter where it came from or who delivered it at this time. It just made sense, helping me move forward and feel unblocked.
One of the people I like to watch is called Lee Harris. He channels beings called the Z’s, he encourages intuitive practice. The middle of February I watched a video of his called working with your guides which has an exercise that simply asks the question of yourself, “what does my Soul want me to know today?” Then you wait…and you listen. He also encourages writing down whatever transpires. So one evening I decided to ask the question. It was a short answer. Around the same time angelic type beings and Archangels started to filter into my awareness. This is most unusual. Having a strict Catholic upbringing, they’ve always been something I’ve associated with that. Definitely not something I’ve actively pursued. Still, I tried not to pass judgement and went with it.
It seemed when walking the dog I would have moments like this. Frustratingly when I’m least able to write things down or only remember snippets. I can only surmise this happens because the brain is in a different wave state. In a relaxed state of being, the conscious mind plays a secondary role. Overall I’ve tried not to get fixated on who, what or where this comes from. One day without thinking about it I asked “who am I talking to,” not expecting an answer. Then I promptly forgot about it. I got home and went about my day. Whilst making our bed that morning and thinking about other things, out of nowhere the name ‘Ezekiel’ came into my mind. I couldn’t understand why I’d thought of this name. It had no bearing on what I was doing or thinking of. It was out of the blue and odd, it seemed so…biblical. I don’t know anyone with this name and could think of no reason for it’s appearance . I then suddenly remembered asking the question “who am I talking to.” It was at this point I began to think “okay, this is getting interesting.”
Given the recent angelic presence I looked up the name Ezekiel, surprised to find an Archangel. There really isn’t a lot out there but like before I’m sure things will reveal themselves. I have so many unknowns at this point and rather than relying on other sources. My objective is to see what my intuition reveals. Some say Ezekiel is connected to the violet ray or flame or has a silver / gold colour or appearance. Often coming forward to aid those who begin to discover their connection to angelic energies. Or those learning and growing in their spiritual journey as an aid to transformation. I have yet to discover more.
February 28th 2024
This brings me to the main reason for this tale. It’s to relate the remarkable happening of this day. The video is a means of acknowledging this special moment, an act of gratitude. To give you a visual reference as to what I’m referring.
This day we decide to go to a town called Thirsk. The intent was to purchase a pair of walking boots and go to the art shop. As it happened getting boots didn’t pan out. Going to the art shop did. Not wanting to relate every detail of the day and stick to this stories topic. It’s what I did before going out the door and what happened before coming home which is most important. I remembered someone I’d watched talking about going directly to source for guidance. I decided to put this and what I’d been experiencing to the test.
Whilst putting boots on to leave I said directly and out loud something along the lines of this. “Ezekiel, I’m going out today, this is the only day I’ll be in a place with shops. Please can you direct or guide me to an inexpensive item which I can bring home to put in my sacred space. As a connection to you and Spirit. As something to remind me of a connection to something bigger than myself. It needs to be inexpensive, could be anything, maybe an angel or something small.” I let it go, we left and with a number of happenings during the day I again forgot I’d done this act.
Isn’t this when the magic happens.
Walking back to the van we decided to turn around and head back to a cafe we passed. We’d not had anything to drink most of the afternoon and we were feeling parched. Just before leaving as the shop was preparing to close. Geoffrey commented about there being gifts in the window and behind us. I decided to go and have a look off to the side at the back, as something silvery caught my eye. I don’t know at what point I remembered asking the earlier question. Whether it was whilst sat at the table or when getting up to look. It was quite gloomy with low lighting but my eyes were drawn to the glass candle holders. It must be my magpie tendencies. In the low light they were shiny and sparkling. The holder in these images with the Stag is what attracted my attention. There were various others some with coppery leaves on them. I looked for a short time but it was the Stag in the Forest which seemed to draw me. I thought there might be a pair but no such luck. This was the only one. On the bottom the price said £5, which I thought was inexpensive considering it was etched glass. In the end I decided to buy this and another with etched, coppery leaves.
It’s only when I got home the significance of what happened and I’d bought dawned on me. In the shop I couldn’t see clearly at all, it was so dark. I also felt rushed because they were closing. Not only was this item inexpensive but when I turned it over to take the price off I saw Heaven Sends with a heart and two angels. As you see in the picture above. In my mind it reads Heaven Sends Love, this is how my intuition interprets it. The other candle holder has nothing on the bottom at all, only the price label. I had a million thoughts running through my mind. Am I seeing connections where there aren’t any? Did I really ask a being, Angel or otherwise called Ezekiel? Was I actually heard? Was I really guided to this item? Was the Universe or Angelic beings letting me know they’d heard, sending love in return? Am I going mad? It would be so easy to dismiss this, put it down to coincidence or just ignore the whole thing. I don’t believe in coincidence though, things happen for a reason. There have been many times in my life where things have happened I just can’t explain. To not acknowledge this synchronicity or Spirit guidance would be foolish. I had directly asked, gone to source and by a variety of means here is what I’d asked for. This is a defining moment and the only word for it is WOW. Why kill it with disbelief and let the conscious, logical mind say otherwise. If I ever need any proof of the magic guiding my life here it is. In physical form. Magic, I’m connected to and grateful for. Which I choose to embrace and expand upon. It doesn’t matter how it arrived.
Of all things which could be depicted, it’s interesting it’s images of a Stag and Forest. Both carry powerful symbolism. The Forest in particular is a place my Soul feels at peace, at home in. It’s a place I’d choose above all others to go to preferentially. A place of magic and beauty I feel deep connections to. I wanted to delve into this symbolism in this post but I feel this has become long enough. It has taken on a life of its own in it’s unfolding. I will look at this in the next post as I feel it’s significant and cannot not be ignored. Particularly the Stag as an animal totem or guide and the Forest as a place of power. Maybe more pieces of this puzzle might have unravelled by then. Either way I’ll delve into the meanings and see if I can decipher what the connection is to my soul.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed our journey together.
Have you had any experiences of this nature?
Please feel free to share in the comments.
-2 Comments-
It’s an amazing experience when the “universe” as I call it / higher powers / ect have that aha! Moment and there is no denying that clarification sent. I’m so happy for you to have this connection, growth and centre-ing ☺️
Thank you so much.
It IS amazing Bee and a little mind blowing.
I hope you are well.💜